


Rue+Full

by Magichemistry



Category: Girls (TV)
Genre: Cheating, F/M, Heavy Angst, sex scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-05 01:36:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16358150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magichemistry/pseuds/Magichemistry
Summary: “I know you don’t need me and I have no right to ask this but keep me in your life somehow.”  A marriage from beginning to end.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> @oh-dam wrote an amazing drabble and gave me permission to turn it into a fic. Enjoy!

“Are you done?” you ask Adam, getting up from your chair. 

“Yeah.” He nods and you pick up his plate. You had pizza for dinner, not a fancy meal but at least it was nice to eat it with a glass of red wine and not having two kids making a mess on the table.

You and Sackler are parents of an eight-year-old named Joshua and a six-year-old named Liam. You have no idea what it’s like to have a girl as a child, but you imagine it’d be fewer farts and mean jokes.

Tonight your two little demons are staying at your mom’s house, giving you a very needed break from them. You love them, with all your heart, but being a mom plus a wife can be exhausting. You barely have time for yourself because there’s always something to do or fix.

As you put the plates in the sink, you feel Adam’s hands sneaking around your body, it doesn’t take too long when he’s already touching your breast.

“Adam, no.” You try to push him away with your shoulder. You’re sweaty from the day, your clothes are the most random and your hair is a mess, you haven’t washed it in two days. You’re just not in the mood.

“What?” He laughs and pushes your ass against his crotch.

“It’s just… I’m not in the mood.” You don’t want to be rude with him but he’s doing a poor job at turning you on.

“I’ll get you in the mood,” he says and unbuttons your jeans.

Wow. That’s it? A fuck against the sink, with no kisses or foreplay? You’re definitely not in the mood for this.

“I said stop!” This time you push him away with more strength and he steps back, surprised at the rejection.

“(Y/N), we never have a free night from the kids and now you don’t wanna fuck?” he says sarcastically.

Gosh, how much you hate that stupid tone he uses with you. As if he was smarter or he was always right.

You huff and pass a hand through your hair. “Maybe I just want to rest. Maybe I’m fucking tired!”

Adam’s face hardens at your curse. He’s the one who says bad words, not you. You only do it when you’re really mad about something.

“So you wanna fucking cuddle or what?” he barks.

“And that would be so wrong, right?”

“Well, I’m sorry for wanting to have sex with my fucking wife!” The more he talks, the more he raises his voice.

“You don’t wanna fuck me!” you yell and you’re so close to punching him in the face. “You just wanna cum and as long as you do it, you don’t care how!”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Red veins tracing on his neck as he screams at you.

“It means I’m fucking tired of raising three kids!”

It takes a moment for your words to make an effect on Adam. But once he gets the implication that he’s a kid too, he grabs the kitchen table and flips it over.

“You fucking psycho!” you snap at him, tears in your eyes.

He clenches his fists in fury and it looks he’s about to say something back but he just screams a big “Ah” and storms off your apartment.

Before you can even realize he’s gone, you startle at the slam of the door. You’re all by yourself, with a table flipped and pieces of pizza on the floor. But most painful, your heart destroyed.

* * *

The shot of whiskey is just within his reach and Adam feels his clammy hands shaking slightly against the cold bar counter.

After he left your apartment furious, he got into the first bar he found. There’s not a lot to see here, just a dark place with trashy music, a couple of tables and a bartender that thankfully isn’t feeling chatty tonight.

He stares at the amber liquid in the glass and tries to think in anything that can distract him from yourself. When did your relationship take this turn? He still remembers when you moved in with him, how happy you were, with only one suitcase where all your belongings were.

You basically fucked every single day, sometimes more. You had dinner at bed and slept naked, your bodies intertwined. You screamed with no shame as he made you come, not giving a single fuck about the neighbors.

For a moment, he allows himself to smile as he remembers that time he peed on you in the shower and you only laughed, calling him a pervert.

You had so many plans together, so many promises. You thought that you would never be old, that life would never take a toll on you because you were different from the others.

And in that moment of his life, he truly believed it. He thought that life was finally perfect and it’d always stay that way. How wrong he was.

He’s about to take out his wallet to pay for the drink he didn’t drink, ready to go home and try to fix things with you, when he hears at his side:

“Hey.”

There’s a tall redhead sitting next to him. With a white blouse that makes contrast with her hair and her equally red lips. A seductive smile plastered on her face.

“Hey,” Adam says back. From where he’s sitting, he can smell her floral perfume. And something makes him stay still on his stool.

“Wanna buy me a drink?” She tilts her head and smiles, showing her perfect white teeth.

“Uuh,” he stutters. “Yeah, sure. Here, have my drink. I didn’t touch it.” He slides the glass through the counter bar and the redhead takes it, her finger lightly brushing his hand.

“Thank you,” she says and drinks from it.

Adam feels a wave of pleasure straight in his crotch as he sees the lips of the redhead on the edge of the glass.

“I’m Courtney,” she says in a mellow voice. “And you are?”

But Adam’s mind is gone, your words making echo in it.  _“You just wanna cum and as long as you do it, you don’t care how.”_

So that’s what you think, uh? Well, he’s going to show you you’re right. With a blinding rage, he gets up from the stool and takes the redhead’s hand, dragging her with him at the back of the bar.

“It doesn’t matter,” he growls before both of them enter the bathroom.

* * *

The narrow bathroom stall isn’t comfortable by any means and his big frame feels particularly awkward pushed against the door. But her tits feel amazing on his hands, so as her ass squeezed on those jeans.

With her tongue stuck in his mouth, Adam thinks that for the all the time he has spent without sex, his cock would be about to burst out from his pants. But so far, he’s only half-hard. Lack of practice, maybe. Or he’s getting old.

The redhead giggles and peppers kisses on his face and suddenly he feels nauseous because of the smell of her perfume. It’s too sweet, too cloying.

He pushes her head down to the floor and she takes the hint, sinking down on her knees. In the worst case, he could fuck her with her facing the wall and him behind.

The kneeling redhead fumbles with his fly while Adam stares at the grey ceiling. This is your fault, right? He thinks bitterly. You pushed and pushed at him until he struck back the only way he knew how.

This quickie, in a bathroom of a random bar, reminds him of his old ways, before he met you. He should feel young again, shouldn’t he? He just got a pretty redhead for himself and didn’t have to make an effort.

The redhead takes his semi-hard cock on her mouth and sucks, swallowing him whole. He closes his eyes, ready to enjoy this but anxious thoughts torment him.

He’ll never claim to be an angel but he always assumed he was at least a halfway decent man. Was he lying when he said he’d never hurt you? Is this the man he’s become?

As the redhead keeps bobbing her head and grabbing the base of his shaft with one hand, Adam remembers your wedding day. You eloped and got married on a Wednesday morning, with no one but yourself. Then, shortly, Joshua arrived and even though you were terrified, you had a lot of good moments.

“What’s wrong, baby? Aren’t you having fun?” The redhead, Carol or Clarice or whatever, startles Adam back to the present. She’s looking up at him from her spot on the floor, green eyes questioning while her hand expertly tries to coax an erection from his now limp cock.

Wait… That’s new. Not even with you, after many years, it has happened to him.

Suddenly, the sight of her red lipstick smeared on his cock and her manicured fingers wrapped around him, fill Adam with such an overwhelming sense of shame and regret.

He feels something climbing up his throat, burning him and he barely has a moment to shove Crystal or Chloe aside and yell a “Move!” before violently throwing up the pizza he had for dinner.

“Ew!” the redhead exclaims with shocked eyes.

“Get the fuck out of here!” he screams and then she doesn’t need to be told twice to run away from here.

It seems he’s done puking, but nausea persists. With his eyes closed, he pulls his jeans up and gets out of the bathroom stall.

He washes his hands and face under the sink and takes a moment to look at himself on the dirty mirror.

What has he has done? How is he going to go back home with you after this?

* * *

Adam doubts for a second, hand in the knob if he shoulder enter. His cock is still dirty from that girl’s lipstick, for god sake.

But then he hears you calling him from inside and he opens the door.

“Adam?” you repeat again in a thread of a voice. Your whole face is red and swollen from all the crying and you’re uncontrollably sniffing.

His heart swells with love as he thinks you look like a scared mouse. And he can’t even remember why you fought, probably something stupid, it doesn’t matter now. What it matters is that he’s home and you were waiting for him.

“I’m so sorry!” you cry out and run at his arms. He picks you up with no effort and you grab his face and kiss him repeatedly.

“I’m sorry,” you repeat over and over.

“No, I’m sorry,” he says. Your kisses feel so different. Warmer, more sincere.

“Where were you? I was so worried.”

“I was at a bar,” he says abruptly the kisses end.

“Why were you at a bar?” you ask him, your eyebrows knit together. You know he doesn’t drink, he has been sober for years. “Put me down.”

Adam puts you back on the floor and he knows he doesn’t have the guts to lie to you. Not about something like this.

“I didn’t drink,” he says. “But fuck… I’m so sorry, (Y/N).” He crumbles down and tears form on his eyes.

“Why are you sorry?” you ask alarmed.

But he doesn’t answer you. He keeps saying, “I’m sorry” and shakes his head, kneeling on the floor.

“Adam, you’re scaring me. Why are you sorry?” Never in all these years, you’ve seen your husband like this. And you’re terrified.

He lifts his gaze and looks at you with aching eyes. “There was a girl… I can’t even remember her name and fuck, I was so mad at you, at my life. I didn’t drink but I couldn’t think straight.”


	2. Chapter 2

He lifts his gaze and looks at you with aching eyes. “There was a girl… I can’t even remember her name and fuck, I was so mad at you, at my life. I didn’t drink but I couldn’t think straight.”

“No, no,” you mumble and step back from him. This can’t be happening, not to you. It’s Adam, your husband. You only had a stupid fight, nothing more.

“I took her to the bathroom and… and…” he feels incapable to continue.

You swallow down your anger and ask, “Did you kiss her?”

“Yes,” he admits and lowers his gaze.

“Did you touch her?”

“Yes.”

“And she touched you?”

“Yes.”

You nod and prepare yourself for the hardest question of your life.

“Did you fuck her?”

Adam snaps his head at you and answers, “No, no. I swear.”

“But you wanted to, didn’t you? That’s why you went to the bathroom with her.” Your voice is calm and steady but anger is boiling inside of you.

“It wasn’t like that.” He looks like a kicked puppy, incapable to defend himself.

“What else did it happen?”

“I don’t think you need to know…”

“That’s my choice, asshole!” you scream furiously and push him back from the shoulders, making him fall on the floor. “You’re the one who did this to me! I deserve to know!” You slap him hard across the face with all your strength and hate.

“She gave me a blowjob but I couldn’t! I just, I couldn’t!” Tears spilling down his cheeks. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about our family! I told her to leave!”

“You kissed me after you kissed her, fucking pig!” Never before you had such a huge urge to kill someone. All you want is see him suffer, to crawl like the insect he is.

And he does crawl at you, hugging you from your waist and mumbling against your belly “I’m sorry” over and over.

But this time, you don’t hug him back or pet his head. You loosen from his hug and sit back on the sofa.

Without looking at him, you say, “Leave.”

“No, please,” he begs you. “I know I fucked up but we can fix this.”

“I don’t want to see your fucking face again, you disgust me.” You zone out from this situation because it’s too much pain to bear.

“What about the kids? You can’t do this to them.”

At the mention of your kids, you turn your head at him. “You’ll always be his father and you can still see them whenever you want. But as far as it concerns me, you’re nothing to me.”

* * *

With a bag full of his clothes and no place to stay, Adam tells you from the frame door, “Are you really going to throw away everything we have just like this?”

You snort because your soon to be ex-husband can be very funny, even in the worst moments.

“You’re the one who did this. You threw away all that we had when you decided to change our family, our love for a blowjob at a stinky bathroom.”

Knowing he has no right of objection, he opts to stay silent and leave already. Right before he closes the door, he hears you say, “I hope it was worth it.”

* * *

_Six months later_

“How was your essay, kid? Did she give you an A?” Adam asks his son Joshua. Today he took him and Liam to a football game and to eat pizza.

It’s almost nine pm and tomorrow they have to school so they’re walking back to your apartment, where you live with your kids.

“It was fine, she gave me a B,” Joshua answers. Liam is a few steps forward, playing not to step over a crack in the pavement.

“That’s good.” Adam ruffles Joshua’s hair and he pretends his dad annoys him. Soon, they’re home, outside the complex apartment where Adam used to live with you.

“Uh, so,” Adam speaks to both of his kids. “Does your mom is seeing someone?”

Joshua and Liam frown, not understanding their dad’s question.

Seeing their confusion, he explains himself better. “Does she go out with a friend, like a guy or something?

He wouldn’t be surprised to know you met someone. Not even as a single mom of two kids, you’d struggle to find a boyfriend.

And he has to ask his kids because it’s been six months since the last time he saw you. You communicate via text but that’s it. And it’s always related about Joshua or Liam.

How weird, he used to share his life with you and now he hasn’t been in the same room with you for half a year.

“She only goes out with us,” Liam answers, not having any idea about what his dad is referring to.

After saying goodbye to them and making sure they got into the building, Adam prepares to walk back at his apartment. It’s a small place he found at a cheap price and near your home, so he could be close to the kids. And you. Even when you don’t want to see him.

His phone buzzes and he takes it out of his jacket, to see there’s a message from you. Seeing your name on his phone screen still makes him smile.

_“I have the divorce papers ready. Come tomorrow to sign them. The kids will be with my mom, I didn’t think they needed to be present.”_

Fuck him. The first time he’s going to see you in six months and it’s to sign your divorce.

* * *

Adam feels his heart thumping as he stands outside your apartment. Not even on your first date, he was this nervous. You probably won’t notice it, but he put a new shirt and shaved, all for you. He has to do more than dressing nicely for you to forgive him but it’s a start, right?

He knocks the door and it opens immediately. You were already waiting for him.

You look better than you have any right to. He knows he looks like a fucking zombie got run over but apparently, the last six months had the opposite effect on you. There are no purple bags under your eyes, your hair shines more and even if you’re wearing a simple sweater and jeans, you look ravishing.

“Come in,” you say, not greeting him.

Words get stuck on his mouth and he feels like an idiot, not saying anything back. As he enters your home, a nagging voice in the back of his mind tells him he’s probably the reason you used to look so tired before.

He takes a look around and he realizes how much he has missed this place, his home. Next to you and the kids. Everything is almost the same and for a moment he can pretend he never left.

“They’re here,” you say and sit down on the sofa.

The divorce papers sitting on the small table he used to keep his screenplays, beside it a car toy and a half-eaten cookie.

Adam sits next to you and he’s aware this is the closest he has been from you in a very long time. His hand shakes as he takes the pen and sees the line where he has to put his signature.

He puts the pen against the sheet of paper and right before he’s about to do the first trace, he turns to look at you and asks:

“Are you sure about this?”

“No, but I can’t let go of what you did to us. How easily you threw me away.” It hurt less when you slapped him.

But he’s not giving up. Not even when he’s about to sign.

“I miss our home. I miss the kids. I miss my fucking wife.” He’s not too proud to beg. Not really at this point. Adam Sackler has always been a fuck up but this time he’ll make it right. He believes with all his heart he can fix this.

Your eyes are bright with unshed tears and hurt hardens your voice. “Every time I look at you, I see you doing all those things you told me.”

His heart shreds into thousands of pieces, or at least that’s what it feels like. You’re talking whispering but your words are full of resentment.

He lost. One stupid mistake and he lost the most important thing in his life. There’s no one to blame but him. But to be fair, it’s not only about that horrible night, problems came from time before, when he stopped being the man you needed, when he allowed routine settle between you and even sex was a mechanic act. When was the last time he kissed you in the mouth? A real kiss, full of passion and love. When was the time he held you and told you he loved you?

He’s not a good loser but he knows what he has to do. He grabs the pen back, willing to sign and put an end to this.

“I know you don’t need me and I have no right to ask this but keep me in your life somehow,” he says and leans down to sign.

But your cry interrupts him, you break down in tears and he has the impulse to hug you, to try to stop your pain. And this time you don’t reject him.

Carrying a huge sorrow, you look up at him and tell him, “Adam, what are we gonna do?”

And his heart ends up breaking at your pain, but he says, “I don’t know, we could go to therapy, that’s a start. I could go to therapy, everyone knows I need it.”

“Would you do that for me?” you sniff.

“You’re the person I love the most in this world, I’m willing to do everything for you.” His arms squeeze you harder, afraid that you’ll escape from him.

“What about Joshua and Liam?” This time you sound a little more relaxed.

“Nah,” he jokes. “Those stinky bastards? I only stand them because you love them.”

You can’t help but laugh at his dumb joke and his heart beats with a sense of pride because he made you laugh, maybe there’s still hope.

“Adam,” you wipe your nose. “Take me to that bar. Where it happened.” That’s how you called what happened that night. It. It’s too painful to say “where you cheated on me.”

“What? No,” he refuses. He watches you with a worried expression, unsure why you’re asking him that.

“Please, I need to see.”

“No, (Y/N), I won’t hurt you anymore.”

“You said you’d anything for me. I’m asking you for this.”

You’re right. That’s what he said. So how he can refuse even at this oddly and eerie petition?

* * *

“So, this is where it happened?” You and Adam are locked and squeezed together inside the bathroom stall.

“Uh, yeah.” His eyes glued to the floor, too ashamed to look at you. A wave of nausea hits him when he remembers the redhead’s perfume.

He’s in the same position as that night, his back leaned against the door and your body brushing his. It’s like having a deja-vu, a terrible one, and he wants it to be over soon.

You cup his cheeks and make him look at you, his lips forming a pout you disappear by pressing a kiss on them.

Adam relaxes a little and he dares to put his hands on your hips. You stand on your tiptoes and catch his bottom lip with your teeth, biting it.

He lets out an animalistic growl that you haven’t heard in a long time and when he’s about to slide his hands to your ass you push him against the door and sink down on the floor.

“W-what are you doing?” His body goes stiff and for a moment he doubts if you’re going to bite off his dick in revenge.

“Giving you a blowjob at a stinky bathroom.” You unbuckle his belt and put his jeans and boxers down to his knees.

Adam diverts his gaze, ashamed that he’s already hard and only because you kissed him.

You grab his cock from the base and swirl your tongue on the already wet head. He shudders from pleasure and looks for something to grab on but there’s nothing.

You give him a long lick and then speak, “Did you come?” Then, another lick. You look like a hungry kitten wanting his milk, he thinks and his breath gets louder.

“I couldn’t even get my dick hard,” he struggles to speak.

“Then, why is it so hard and swollen right now? We’re on the same bathroom.”

Adam doubts for a moment what to answer to that, but then he looks down at you, the wicked grin on your face, your mouth inches away from his cock, not touching it but your breath does.

You’re tempting him, wanting to see if he dares to come up with a witty response and say it out loud.

“Because my cock only gets hard for sluts like you,” he rasps and pushes your head all the way down on his cock.

He throws his head back and has to bite his cheek so an embarrassing moan doesn’t escape from his mouth.

You just started bobbing your head and he already feels he’s about to explode. He plunges his fingers through your hair but you don’t need help, you’re swallowing him whole, hollowing your cheeks, the tip of his cock bumping at the back of your throat.

He looks down at you and he startles a little when he bumps with your gaze. Usually, you’re the kind of girl who closes her eyes because she’s shy about this, but right now you’re looking him as if your irises were burning.

What he doesn’t know is that you’re doing this for yourself, not for him. You need it, you need to prove yourself you’re better, sexier, naughtier than that faceless girl you never met.

After five short minutes, Adam shuts his eyes and his belly twitches as he empties himself in your mouth. He can’t stop moaning, almost crying from pleasure.

You get up from the floor and look at him as if you weren’t on your knees sucking his cock seconds ago. And it drives him mad.

He shoves you against the wall and nuzzles your neck. Fuck, he missed your smell.

“Let me return the favor,” he husks and his breath tickles your neck and ear.

“No, it’s okay. Really…”

“You don’t want to give me your tasty cunt? After having me without it for six months.”

His dirty words and deep voice send a shiver down your spine. This is the Adam from before, the one who you fell in love with it. For weird as it seems. But you’re not ready.

“Not yet,” you say and put a peck on his lips.

Not needing more explanation, he understands and doesn’t insist. But his arms wrap around you and you lean on his chest.

“This doesn’t mean I already forgave you,” you lift your face at him. “But I want you in my life, not for the kids, but because I love you.”

Adam knows there’s still a long way to go and a lot of work to do before you forgive him and trust him again. But he’s willing to change, to be a better man for you.

“I’m a fucking mess,” he admits. “But I love so much, kid. And I know I gotta change and I’ll do it, I promise. I also know I left a deep wound in your heart that hardly it’ll heal but I fucking promise you, (Y/N), I’ll devote my days to make it better. Trust me. This time I won’t fuck it up so bad.”

Yes, there’s the deep wound he talked about in your heart. But today, in this stinky bathroom and in between his arms, it hurts a little less, for the first time in six months.


End file.
